writhe:

writhe:

i have a hill to die on real quick

phrases like “you don’t owe anyone anything” and “relationships aren’t transactional” have the power to be used in ways that are very backwards and harmful

for example, no you don’t owe anyone anything in that if some creep is trying to get with you, you can block him without feeling bad. you don’t owe kindness to people who are transphobic or racist or bigoted.

but, you can’t use this as an excuse to fuck over people who have helped you. “you don’t owe anyone anything” isn’t an excuse to allow yourself to forget compassion and basic empathy, it isn’t an excuse for you to be an asshole just because you find it easier to be one

relationships aren’t transactional in that if your partner does something nice for you, you are indebted to them. they do these things because they love you; it is their choice to express love through these gestures

but they are transactional in that you both actively need to be putting time and care into the relationship. ignoring the dynamic of one person caring too much (and putting in excessive (emotional an literal) work and labor) while the other does nothing isn’t healthy. one person can’t solely take and the other person can’t solely give- that’s dangerous, and you can’t put the bandaid of “this isn’t transactional” over a relationship that is draining you in all capacities

i’m tired of seeing these things being misconstrued and used as an excuse to hurt people, while framing it as a way of taking care of yourself

(via kibapdf)

all people on here ever do is make huge assumptions based on what little i say in my posts i gotta go

tariqah:

I see some of you on tumblr dot com and my mind says I should be more homophobic

(via kharah)

my parents ruin everything it’s so annoying then my therapist is like if u still want them in ur lives then maintain a relationship but keep ur distance but even if i keep my distance they take advantage of whatever small room i give them to affect my life smh.

pucikat:

when u Mom com home and make hte spagheti

novitiate2017:

Dont talk to me ! I’m mourning all the possible lives I couldve lived and the girl i couldve become .

(via cornygirlfriend)

billcarden:

sexysuggestion:

tease the fuck out of me

i got ur nose!

(via 552)

552:

Hey guys, just wanted to log on and say: pain

i should’ve gone to cali for college also i hope i die

898:

face n vagina are so similar u have to b careful what products r near them + wash hands thoroughly before touching them bc theyre more vulnerable to bacteria + facial/pubic hair r both stigmatized + both have lips + u have to keep the pH balanced + your girl puts both of hers on me

if you only know me from when i was active on here then you don’t know the person i am now at all

please don’t hate follow me i completely regret how everything happened in that situation a few months ago bc of my own behavior and wish i had been more compassionate in that situation and i will be apologetic about it and learn and grow from my mistakes and the hurt that i caused in that situation forever (i do not ever expect forgiveness, as i’ve said many times, so if you’re not directly involved please stop going around saying i only apologize bc i want to be forgiven bc i know i won’t be and i completely understand why) but that situation had nothing to do w the things i look for in a person and in fact that person fit everything i listed in that post i just made (which didn’t even have anything to do w that person) i just didn’t feel we were compatible romantically and i’m not going to be specific about it bc i don’t want to involve anyone who doesn’t already know but if that’s what leads you to make assumptions about every post i make leave me alone bc plenty of things have happened in my life since then and so much has changed

am i on a block list on here or something like did someone make a callout post about me lmao what did i even do

i said i wanted the person im with to be attractive to me and care about social activism and be ambitious how are those standards impossibly high

all im gonna say is my standards are really not unrealistically high and also i never said i’d shame anyone for not “meeting” them nor would i consider anyone “not good enough” for not meeting all of them bc, like i said, no one is perfect and neither am i and i’m never going to try to change anyone fundamentally or expect anyone to be absolutely perfect